Today has been an emotional roller coaster for Mom. When NICU experiences go up and down, so do Mommy's emotions. Today, I have felt joy, hope, excitement, anger, frustration, dissapointment and sadness. (Sean is O.K....please read on).
The morning began with joy, hope and excitement because Sean was doing well on the nasal cannula with High Flow and High Humitity. As I mentioned in my previous entry there had been some discussion about Sean being placed back on the bubble CPAP. The reason for this was because Sean was beginning to DSAT a little more than normal. And when he did DSAT, he was dipping down into into the low teens. This was not good.
Yesterday to help resolve this issue, Docs decided to go higher on the nasal cannula pressure. A week ago when Sean was first placed on the nasal cannula, he was at 2 liters of pressure. He needed more help, so they went up to 4 liters and then finally 6 liters yesterday. He did really good last night and this morning on the 6 liters of pressure. I received a great report from the RN this morning and was hoping and praying that Sean would continue to do well and not need to go back to the bubble CPAP. I was told that Sean was comfortable the entire night and he was doing very well. No DSATs or Brady's! He was alert and looking around. The RN said, "he is a totally different baby" (in reference to his breathing).
After hearing such wonderful news from the RN this morning, I was hopeful and excited that maybe.... just maybe....our baby boy would succeed and wouldn't need to go back on the bubble CPAP. Just before the RN and I ended our conversation, she said that sometimes it is a battle of will/personalities & different ways of thinking regarding what is best...bubble CPAP vs. High Flow High Humitity Nasal Cannula.
How quickly things change...several hours later we received a call from the hospital telling us that they took an xray of Sean's lungs and his lungs looked a little hazy compared to the last xray earlier in the week. Instead of seeing 8 ribs they could only see 7. This can be the beginning of Atelectasis (collapsed lung). This is nothing that can't be resolved. As a matter of fact, Sean has already had Atelectasis during his hospital stay and it has been resolved. It can be resolved again and of course we want it to be resolved. We were just hoping it would be resolved by the nasal cannula and not the bubble CPAP. Sean is simply not ready for the nasal cannula. This after noon at about 1 PM, our baby boy was placed back on the CPAP. We understand this is what is best for Sean and we want what is best for Sean. We were just hoping he would be able to stay on the nasal cannula.
The reason Docs decided to go back to the CPAP was because it is more reliable. They know how much pressure Sean is getting. Whereas with the High Flow High Humitity nasal cannula, even though it is at 6 liters of pressure....it can actually be at 5 or 4. And there may be a chance Sean's lungs are not getting enough pressure.
I understand that this is best for Sean, but I still felt anger, sadness and frustration after he was placed back on the bubble CPAP. I am over it now, but wanted to share. I will miss seeing our baby boy's face. With the CPAP equipment it makes it difficult to see his entire face. With the CPAP equipment and now the feeding tube back in his mouth (instead of his nose), this may get in the way of his development to suck and make it harder for him. Sean likes to lift and turn his head from side to side...with the CPAP equipment on his head he will have a harder time doing this. Again, I understand why, but I couldn't help, but feel dissapointment and sadness.
Sean will be off the CPAP again when he is ready. Please keep him in prayer.
Sean's Mommy & Daddy
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